The Book That Doesn’t Give Answers but Helps You Find Them

Published on: June 27, 2025

Introduction

Most books are made to be read.
This one is made to be asked.

Vicki Tan’s "Ask This Book a Question" doesn’t follow a traditional format, and that’s exactly what makes it stand out. It’s not meant to be read cover to cover. It’s not trying to give you all the answers. Instead, it gives you something much more valuable: a space to think, question, and clarify. You don’t consume this book. You work with it.

It’s become a go-to in both my personal and creative life. I keep it nearby—ready to pull out whenever I’m stuck in a decision, reflecting on something bigger, or even just looking for a better question to ask myself.

A Giant Repository of Questions to Help With Direction

This book is filled with thoughtful, open-ended prompts, and they’re grouped in a way that helps you navigate whatever kind of moment you’re in. Whether you’re trying to get unstuck, reflect on a decision, or make a meaningful connection, there’s a section designed to meet that need.

The questions aren’t just clever or inspirational. They’re structured to move you forward. I’ve found that even when I come to the book with a vague sense of uncertainty, I walk away with sharper clarity. Sometimes that means realizing what I’ve been avoiding. Other times it’s seeing a problem from a new angle entirely. Last night, I dove into questions like "How can I stay more connected to the people around me?" (pg 254) as well as "How do I make time for all my interests and passions?" (pg 107) and the words I read forced me to reframe my point-of-view. I especially enjoyed this excerpt:

By default, we tend to think about jobs, relationships, homes as being forever-ish—a fuzzy indefinite. But if we approach these opportunities with a check-in date in mind, we create a forcing function for ourselves. It becomes a built-in reason to ask ourselves the question "Why should I stay?" rather than "Why should I leave?" The latter question causes us to hold on tightly to all the reasons why it's hard to leave. The former question acts as a gentle nudge to honestly check in with ourselves about all the reasons we originally chose to be in that situation.

As someone who values stability, I'm not the most risk-averse so I appreciate that "Ask This Book a Question" lends me the courage I need to face certain situations head-on. This book is not about providing solutions; it's about helping you uncover your own.

Cognitive Biases Made Accessible and Relatable

One feature I especially appreciate is how the book surfaces common cognitive biases in a way that’s both informative and easy to digest. Each bias is clearly explained and paired with real-world examples that show how it plays out in daily decisions. Understanding these mental shortcuts helps you see where your thinking might be getting off track. And because the book connects them to everyday scenarios, like avoiding conflict or misjudging a risk, it doesn’t feel abstract or academic; it feels personal and relevant. It’s helped me catch myself in moments of assumption or hesitation, and that kind of self-awareness has real impact.

When learning about each cognitive bias, I appreciated that Vicki clearly outlines the light and shadow parts of each concept. For example, for "Effort Justification" (Definition: "our tendency to attribute greater value to an outcome that we had to put effort toward), the light parts are:

• Increasing perceived value and meaning

• Having greater appreciation

• Feeling a sense of accomplishment

• Steadfastly following through

• Valuing process over results

• Enjoying hard work

Whereas the shadow parts consist of:

• Overlooking flaws

• Having the inability to quit or change course

• Feeling stuck to past work

• Pushing through burnout

• Overlooking easier paths

• Overrationalizing hard work

Like all things, there are pros and cons to these biases and I appreciate the prompts that follow. For "Effort Justification" the prompts that Vicki includes are:

• Was there ever a time you poured your heart into something that didn't turn out as expected?

• What goal or project are you currently pursuing? Are you valuing any parts of the process more because they feel hard-won?

• Is there a relationship or commitment that feels effortful or depleting? Could you be overvaluing it because of how much you've invested in it?

• Can you think of a time you took the easy route and got a great result?

• What is the value of effort versus outcome?

These could be such abstract concepts and questions, but I appreciate the granularity that Vicki strategically drives into each question. It forces me to think of specific experiences from my life and truly ask myself if there any hardships happening right now that I can address.

The Blend of Big Questions and Day-to-Day Examples

One of the strengths of this book is how it handles scale. Some prompts ask you to zoom out and think about your values, your identity, or your future. Others get very specific and immediate, like identifying what’s causing resistance or figuring out your next step; this range makes the book incredibly versatile. I’ve turned to it during long-term planning sessions and also when I just needed a mental reset in the middle of a chaotic workday. It helps you reflect deeply without pulling you too far from what’s happening right now.

You’re never too far from something applicable, whether you’re processing a career change or deciding how to spend your next hour.

An Active, Not Passive, Reading Experience

This is not a book to sit and read casually from start to finish. It invites interaction. The moment you open it, you’re prompted to respond, reflect, or reconsider something. You become part of the experience. I’ve used it as a journaling companion, a solo reflection tool, and even a way to spark group discussions. However you approach it, the format encourages you to think rather than absorb. It’s not filled with opinions or answers. It’s filled with invitations to look inward and get honest with yourself.

That shift from passive consumption to active exploration is what makes it stand out in a world full of quick takes and hot tips. For those who feel like "If you've read one self-help book, you've read them all" this might be the one for you. It's easy to jump around and seek what you need right now; in that way, every section feels timely and meets you where you're at.

Final Thoughts

"Ask This Book a Question" is part workbook, part thought partner, and part self-guided coach. It’s one of the few resources I’ve come across that respects your ability to figure things out while also gently pushing you to ask better questions along the way. It’s beautifully designed, well-structured, and practical in its approach. I’ve returned to it often since its release in April and always find something new depending on the season I’m in or the challenge I’m facing.

If you’re navigating change, feeling stuck, or simply wanting to think with more clarity and intention, I can’t recommend this book enough. Thank you, Vicki, for creating this resource for the world!